Ethics and Religion Talk: Foster Parents and Religious Beliefs

Should potential foster parents be turned away because of their religious beliefs? For example, if they believe that a LGBTQ+ orientation violates their religious beliefs, should they be disqualified from fostering a child? Or should a Jewish couple be prohibited from fostering a child born to Christian parents?

Fred Stella, the Pracharak (Outreach Minister) for the West Michigan Hindu Temple, responds:

It is obvious that attempting to match prospective parents with a child who has already come to terms with an orientation or gender identity that in some way offends their religious beliefs is unwise to say the least. But that does not mean the couple wouldn’t make wonderful parents for someone else. There has to be an honest conversation between them and the adoption agency. And as far as religious affiliation is concerned, I believe that families who all share the same have less challenges. Matching Christian to Christian, Jew to Jew may be ideal. But there might also be room for families to accommodate an adoptee who has already committed him/herself to a faith.

In many instances, people adopt newborn children from foreign countries who have yet to even understand religion. In these cases, the parents will raise them in their own tradition. While many of these children grow up to maintain the faith of their adoptive family, others do explore the beliefs and practices of their origin. 

The Reverend Colleen Squires, minister at All Souls Community Church of West Michigan, a Unitarian Universalist Congregation, responds:

It is most important to have healthy, caring, nurturing, and loving homes for children placed in our foster care system. Unitarian Universalists understand that children will have a wide variety of needs and wants and that foster families should be open to these needs regardless of their own personal belief. Children should be supported and given unconditional love. We should widen the pool of foster families to meet the needs of placing children in nurturing homes. This need is too great to put limitations on qualified families.

Rev. Ray Lanning, a retired minister of the Reformed Presbyterian Church of North America, responds:

Anyone who is willing to take up the challenging work of being a foster parent should be considered as a candidate. Jewish couples are just as able as any others to provide safe and nurturing places for needy children. In the past little or no consideration was given to the spiritual needs or requirements of foster children, and they were expected to conform to the expectations of the home they were brought into. Today it is necessary to inquire into the willingness to respect differences and accommodate them if at all possible. Persons who may feel compelled to change the sexual orientation or religious convictions of foster children should be disqualified, on the ground that they do not grasp the limits of the foster parent/child relationship. Biblically, a foster child is to be regarded as “thy stranger that is within thy gates” (Exodus 20:10), entitled to our care and protection. The God we love and serve is the One who ”preserveth the strangers” and “relieveth the fatherless” (Psalm 146:9). A foster child should respect the faith and practice of his hosts, but he should not be compelled to adopt them as his own, or to abandon his own beliefs.

The Rev. Sandra Nikkel, head pastor of Conklin Reformed Church, responds:

If the potential foster parents are good, responsible parents, they shouldn't be turned away from helping a child regardless of their religious differences. However, freedom of speech and religious freedom should be honored. Therefore, if the natural parents' beliefs clash with those of the foster parents, the biological parents' wishes should be respected. Through it all both adoptive parents and biological parents must remember the words of Jesus to let the little children come near God. "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these" (Mark 10:14).

My response:

No, there should not be a religious test for potential foster parents if that test excludes ethnic and religious minorities. Our system (and I include the Canadian system in this critique) has in the recent past systematically attempted to erase native culture by placing their children with White, Christian parents. This tendency towards “Christianizing” or “Anglicizing” or “Westernizing” children can be rectified by consciously placing children with families of their own ethnic or religious background. A child in need of foster placement should be placed in the best possible home that will support their needs.

This column answers questions of Ethics and Religion by submitting them to a multi-faith panel of spiritual leaders in the Grand Rapids area. We’d love to hear about the ordinary ethical questions that come up in the course of your day as well as any questions of religion that you’ve wondered about. Tell us how you resolved an ethical dilemma and see how members of the Ethics and Religion Talk panel would have handled the same situation. Please send your questions to [email protected].